One Year No Beer Status Update: 2 Months.
by Chase Parnell — October 17, 2019
Whew! Where to start. It’s been two months since my last drink of alcohol on August 16, 2019. I was sipping on a 22oz. Boneyard IPA at Regal Cinemas in Bend, Oregon watching Once Upon a Time in Hollywood. Watching is an overstatement as I went a little overboard that night and have essentially no memory of the movie itself. This saddens me because the star of the movie, Leonardo Dicaprio, has forever been my perennial man-crush and one of my all-time fave actors, because, well, back in 97′ as an impressionable 13 year old, Titanic taught me what love was. Joking … not joking. “Don’t let go, Jack.” So good.
ANYWAYS, real talk, this whole no drinking thing hasn’t been a cakewalk. I miss alcohol. I get cravings — physical cravings — that want to satisfied by a crisp cold one or a generous whisky pour. Oddly enough, I find that the urge is strongest when the kids are going ballistic. When you have a four year old boy bouncing off the walls and a 1.5 year old girl crying from being smacked by Buzz Lightyear, which happens to be in the hand of the aforementioned boy, the blood starts to boil. In that moment, my options are, (A) get really mad at boy, (B) artificially take the edge off with a drink, or (C) manage my emotions like a grown up and deal with the situation in a calm and loving manner. I choose option A more than I should, option B really isn’t an option anymore, and I’m trying to trend towards choosing option C exclusively.
What’s Changed?
A lot of people have asked me if I feel like a social outcast now. Not really. I’m not one to really be tempted by other people’s drinking habits. I was at a conference in San Fran last weekend at the downtown Google spot. There was an open bar happy hour after the speakers were done. There were excellent appetizers, an assortment of cheeses and crackers, and every drink under the sun to choose from. I got a warm Pepsi whose intended use was to be mixed with rum. Nobody cared.
Sure, alcohol was certainly a social lubricant for me as it is for most people, but who really wants to rely on an artificial personality enhancer? Wait, I can’t start interacting with other humans until I have a drink or two in me … what? That’s not how it should be. Rather than imbibe to elevate, why not just be you, and be strong there. Easier said than done, I know, but we can inch closer with even a minimal amount of intention.
People also ask if my wife Nikki has stopped drinking. When I tell them no, they ask me if that’s hard. Also no. I was given a fifth of Jim Beam whiskey just before I stopped drinking and it has sat on top of my fridge unopened from day one. The presence of alcohol does not make me waiver, so by all means, when I see you at the finish line, drink away! Please, let’s not make this awkward.
All things considered, refraining for two months hasn’t been all that bad. Whenever I’m tempted to drink, I think about all those conversations I had when I did the 24 hour run on Pilot Butte. It’s not like those people out supporting me actually care all that much if I drink or not, because like I’ve said, I’m not a raging alcoholic or anything, but I told them my story, I told them alcohol was getting in my way and that I was making some major changes in my life in order to live my BEST LIFE, and I intend to honor what I said. Turns out, accountability works.
I’m also on this wild ride from a professional standpoint, dropping my law career and launching this website. I don’t need any distractions. I really can’t afford to spiral back into a bad headspace, I can’t afford to wake up with daily mini-hangovers. I need clarity of mind to write and create. I’m trying to stay laser-focused on writing the best articles I can and build this site into something that could potentially help my family and I live a life more tailored to what we’ve always dreamed of. No small feat.
Beyond the One Year Mark.
The unknown is what I will do after the one year mark. I really don’t want to fall back into the habits I had before I stopped, but I also don’t know if I want to NEVER have a drink again. My original thought was that I would go from #oneyearnobeer to #oneanddone, which essentially means I would transition to a place where I allow myself one drink per occasion but no more. But then again, that’s a slippery slope. And we’d have to define what one drink means and go down all the those rabbit holes.
We shall see my friends. There’s comfort in knowing that I won’t have to deal with any of that until after my one year commitment … if ever.
General Vibes.
I am loving the Treeline Journal work. I haven’t once missed the law firm life. Being creative, writing about topics I find fascinating, and being in control of my day-to-day life is absolutely energizing. Nikki and I have been dishing out a lot of different content: ultra running articles, personal articles, YouTube videos, a weekly newsletter, and more. Our plan is to throw everything at the wall and see what sticks. There isn’t a whole lot of method to our madness yet, but the site will evolve and I want to be hyper-attuned to what is happening during this time.
Running Problems = Life Problems
One trigger and hitch in my giddyup has been my running. My Pilot Butte run was about three weeks ago. I was recovering without any tweaks or pains and starting to dream about performing well in future races. Then I went to Cali and busted up my foot. Down in San Fran, after an incredible run up Mt. Tamalpais, my brother David and I were looking for a bit of a shortcut descender trail when I decided to see if a little rabbit trail was more than just a rabbit trail. I jumped off a boulder without spotting my landing as well as I should have. I ended up landing on a vertical granite death spike, causing my foot to bend and buckle in a way I hadn’t felt before. Now, I’ve rolled my ankles many times, and typically it can hurt for a minute or two but I’ll generally just keep running and it’ll work itself out. As we ran down the mountain, no relief was found, and I ended up limping on it for the rest of the day. Purple bruising materialized along the entire length of my foot and I’ve had to take some time off.
Nihilism is defined as, “extreme skepticism maintaining that nothing in the world has real value or purpose.” – the Internet.
I can get a bit nihilistic when I can’t run. Nikki knows. Thoughts emerge like, what the hell is the point of all this anyway? Or, if I can’t run, should I really be writing about running at all? Or, I’ve always thought it would be a nice life to work in a library. Maybe I quit running, start drinking again, and become a librarian. I’d like to organize books. Bah! All this because I had to take like three days off from running.
Leave it to Captain Overanalyzer to have an existential crisis over a minor injury. Seriously? But thank the blessed Lord above I got a run in this morning with only minor pain. I think I’m good. The cloud cover will pass. Onward!
Note to self: work on finding greater self value and worth irrespective of my ability to run … NBD.
There you have it, that’s where I am at two months into my One Year No Beer journey. I know this hasn’t been the most coherent post — more of a therapeutic exercise for me I suppose. If you made it this far, thank you. Jokes aside, I’m proud of hitting the two month mark and more often than not I am still very excited with where we are at and the life we are intentionally creating. It’s a hell of a feeling to be in the drivers seat.
Only time will tell where we’ll land. Let’s enjoy the process, okay? Deal?
Deal.
If you are on a similar journey or you’re considering taking a break too, let me know in the comments below or message me on social media. One of the best things about starting Treeline Journal has been the interactions with all of you. Let me know if you have any questions or how I can help!
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