Redefining Resolutions in the New Year | Goal Setting for 2021
by Nikki Parnell — December 30, 2020
I’m thinking ahead to the new year and wondering how many of us won’t make the same kind of plans or goals as we would normally make. I don’t even remember what my resolutions were for 2020 – all I know is that they’ve long since wilted and withered, resembling the poor cherry tree Chase and I planted for our wedding that was attacked again and again by the deer and a harsh Montana winter and just. never. made it. Luckily it didn’t seem to be an omen for our marriage.
Even the word “plan” makes me want to roll my eyes or chuckle sarcastically under my breath. Like what’s the point in having a plan, especially a concrete one? Vague feels more comfortable at this time, for even hard concrete can crumble.
Yet despite all this, I still feel the desire to dream. Even though I started the majority of my Christmas cards this year with a rendition of one of the three phrases including, “Phew, 2020 was 1) interesting to say the least, 2) a real doozy, or 3) the pits,” I couldn’t end the cards on that note because there’s still a glimmer of hope shining in the distance for a better 2021. And I see that hope in others who are still daring to get excited about future goals or who are reflecting on the good things 2020 brought/taught them that will be useful in life.
I see resiliency and am proud of our collective human spirit for not letting a year like we just had hold us down for too long. I think that’s a big deal and worthy of acknowledgement.
Some of what we learned in 2020 was a choice, like choosing to care and be changed by one of the many issues brought to our attention this year or choosing to see the good even when the races were canceled and the events were postponed. Some of our learnings we had no control over like when we had to sit alone with ourselves and feel our strange feelings and discover our natural processing and coping strategies. We got to see what came out of our deeper selves, some of us had to meet our deeper selves. We had to learn to adapt to different.
As we walk into 2021 let us first acknowledge that we’re still here (we’re lucky to be here, many are not!) and that we’re still moving forward. Let’s give ourselves a pat on the back. And since we’re still moving forward, that means we’re going to continue to grow as individuals.
I think the idea of a new year is exciting because none of us know what kinds of growth and transformations might occur in our lives and in our selves during a fresh set of 365 days. And just like how some of what we learned this year was chosen and some was out of our control, the same might be true for the transformations we’ll be experiencing. We can choose goals like running more consistently or having an attitude of gratitude or drinking more water. But some transformations might come out of nowhere, they’ll choose us and we’ll have little control over their affects. Maybe this year those dreams that have been swelling under the surface for a while now will start beckoning to you more adamantly to follow after them; the dreams you start noticing because they find you in mysterious ways, through unrelated conversations or songs on the radio.
2021 just might hold some pretty glorious changes you never saw coming. It might be scary and it might give you some unease in your gut because change is never found along the easy path. Change requires a leap or a trust fall. It’s a stretching, sometimes a breaking-open so more can enter in.
All that to say, I wonder what changes you’ll experience this year? What I’ll experience this year.
One thing is certain, I’m approaching the new year without as many checklist goals — do this, eat that, read more of blank (though I’m sure I’ll have some). Instead, I’m asking questions like, “How do I want to grow this year?” and “Am I open to change if it comes knocking? Even if it’s uncomfortable?” I want to examine my longings and what it would look like to walk towards them. We’ve all had to work on patience this year in some form or another so instead of many concrete goals that may or may not be obliterated, maybe this year could be more about doing little things each day that bring us closer to the bigger overarching dreams that are calling to us.
In my opinion, any “goal setting” or “resolution making” must be done in light of the year we just survived. It’s good to make goals that push us towards bettering ourselves and becoming more whole, but maybe not with the same rigidity as usual. Do things because they fill you up and help you to love your life and love others. Do them so your big dreams get a little more within reach each day. Listen to those inner stirrings pointing you to a dream despite the year that tried to tell us not to dream. Do not do things if and when they will take away more than they will add to your life.
It is very possible to do too much. Too much of a good thing is still a bad thing last time I checked and many of us are on overdrive already. We can quickly fall into burnout and then we have nothing left to give to ourselves or others.
So try to see this new year through a more generous lens. Be intentional with how you move forward. Do what feels important. But not too much. Be open to what this year will bring. Be open to change and to growing in all the possible ways you are meant to this year.
May you find peace in this fresh start and new beginning.
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