A Life Update Amidst A Pandemic and Social Unrest

by Nikki Parnell — June 3, 2020

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I started writing this to update you all on what we’re thinking about our summer travel plans, but when I began to type it out, our problems began to feel very small in light of everything that’s happening. I still don’t know if talking about this stuff is even appropriate or worth the the time it took to jot down or the time it’ll take for you to read, but this is where we’re at.  

Here’s our little family’s update:

The Coronavirus has stolen a lot from a lot of us. Loved ones, peace, plans, dreams, sanity, physical human connection, stability, work, celebrations, races, confidence and more. For us, we’re lucky that all it has really taken is some peace, races and dreams. In relation to the hurt and ache of the world and our nation at this time, our dreams of traveling to Europe and running big races were a luxury anyway, a privilege for very privileged people. We know that. It still hurts.

Reality is setting in. We’re quickly realizing that we might have to resort to Plan B. Or plan C. Or even Plan D.

Plan A, as many of you know, was to go to Europe from July 20 to October 20. For our family to romp around the Alps, for Chase and I to each run an epic 100k, to be at big events like UTMB, writing about races and runners and our travels. Then we’d go on to phase two – spending time in the Lake District of England from September to October – hiking and running the fells like a couple of hobbits in Mordor.

The current outlook on international travel is bleak. And even if things open up more come July, we have a hunch traveling is still not going to be “advised”. And furthermore, we fear we won’t be wanted wherever we go. Even Bendites–so many Bendites–have started complaining about the tourists that are starting to flock to our town. People everywhere, unmasked, leaving a lot of people feeling less safe. Wouldn’t Europeans feel the same? They’re even more locked down than we are and have gone to more extreme measures for safety. And it doesn’t appear that things are easing up quickly. We reached out to our potential AirBnB hosts in Chamonix, France asking about the environment there, searching for people’s thoughts on tourists coming. They told us that the locals are upset even about people who live in the big cities like Paris who are flocking to their second homes in the mountains to quarantine. Our host told us to wait one more month and see, but it wasn’t a reassuring message to receive.

To top that off, I’ve been bumping up my training. I finished a 45 mile week this last week, which is nothing to some people, but I was proud of it because I finally made myself a training plan and stuck to it! I did a 14 mile hard, hilly run on Saturday, practicing sustained climbing with poles. But once I got home from that run I checked my email and found that my Swiss Alps 100k had been canceled. *Sigh. I’m sighing a lot these days. Not many words, just heavy exhales. 

Plan B. We’d still plan to rent out our house in Bend for the whole three months, but instead of the continental Europe piece, we’d live at a family cabin in Idaho, camp in the Sawtooths, in Jackson Hole, in Montana, visit friends and then (fingers crossed) still go to Europe for the last part of the trip in the UK. That wouldn’t be until September so with a little more time maybe things would feel safer and less restricted?? Who knows. We’ve heard from our sources in that area that it is still very much lockdown central and you aren’t even allowed in anyone else’s home. So tourism is not a thing right now and very well might not be in the fall either. Boo.

Plan C. Still rent out our house, do the family cabin and camping shenanigans for roughly three months. Save money and make money, which will help us keep Treeline Journal afloat and would shove us into still adventuring this summer. We already live in such a spectacularly beautiful country. We don’t NEED to go to Europe to have a good time, though my heart absolutely longs for the charms of international travel–-everything from flying on an airplane to cappuccinos on a cobble stone street to picnics in “the hills are alive with the sound of music” type mountains. And also, the kids are at such a fun age. I don’t think there are ever truly bad times to travel with kids, but there are harder stages than others. And now would be such a sweet time to see my babies out and about in foreign places. I want to catch a glimpse of their eyes lighting up with all the new sights and cultural experiences. Seeing things through your kids’ eyes is so wondrous and magical. *Big heavy sigh. But like I said before we have so much in the US, so much in the west even, I know we can make the most of our time.

Plan D. Stay home. If renters fall through, if all the travel ideas fall through, we can stay put in a beautiful place and just keep on keepin’ on. 

We’re really leaning towards setting out though. The thought makes me slightly panicked thinking about packing up our house, putting any possible things we’d need for 3 months into our Prius and driving away for the summer. It is always easier to stay home. But it’s good to practice getting out of our comfort bubble – which is why traveling is so impactful and creates important memories. Growth happens just past the line of your comfort zone, right? Stepping over the line has a touch of thrill to it too. I love the idea of living simply and out of a backpack. I want to be reminded how much stuff we DON’T need. I want to set out on an open road with the family, planning long days outside in the mountains.

All that said, I guess I’m grieving the year as a whole. I wanted more for 2020. And I feel guilty for wanting more. At the beginning of the year we were so excited and motivated. And I could feel that bubbling energy in other people too – we all thought 2020 was going to mean BIG things. And it has brought big things, huge things actually. They’re just heavy things, not the feel-good, la-la, frilly things. This was going to be “our year” to chase some hard-to-reach dreams. To go balls to the wall, to run amazing races and write about them, to do our biggest trip yet while we have the flexible schedules and freedom to do so, to live fully on fire and alive. If anything, the virus has reminded us how important it is to live that way right here, right now, in real life, with what we’ve got. To make the most of each day. To notice the little things. To make our own epic out of a not-so-epic year that 2020 has become for so many people. 

When all is said and done, I know we have it good. I know our problems are as pale and easy as our skin color. We’re not sick in a hospital and we’re not in a constant fight to remove the knee from our neck. Changing travel plans is much easier than changing systemic injustice and inequality. 

There’s a lot of work to be done here — within our family, in our communities, in our country. Maybe this is a much-needed redirect for us, a reminder of more important things than a big vacation. Maybe staying here will help us sit in the discomfort of seeing humanity’s pain. Of educating ourselves on how we can love people better–our neighbors, the oppressed, the marginalized. It’s uncomfortable. It’s important.

So, here I am, having feelings–-all the feelings and trying to process. We’ll keep you posted as plans come and go and change. As we adjust and readjust and tweak where we can with what we have to try and live this life well. 

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